Walking alongside the dirt road that had cracked rocks as its cover. Her eyes looked up at the grey sky with clouds hiding the only warmth that would've touched her face. The topaz jewels that she looked forward with would shine as always though as her lips would keep a small smile. Her medium hair would wave behind her and sway left and right like her hips would. She was wearing long baggy pants, normal exercising black and white shoes with short white socks. Her shirt was a simple tank top that was covered with her sweater. She didn't feel like being judged at this moment about her not feeling the cold like she felt she was before.

Arisa wondered on what this path would take her as she truly felt as if something was waiting for her. Her heart was beating, the nature was calling, but why? Why was it speaking for help? What she didn't know though was the call was her heart, not the nature itself. Her hoodie would simply be pulled up to cover her face and hair as no one would see her. Her arms dangled against her side as she truly walked alone on this dim weathered afternoon.

The dirt road was plain and simple. It crackled with each step, the loose dirt atop the ground grinding against the earth. The small young woman walked across this plain surface. Underneath a dark crimson cloak, she appeared a traveler or refugee. Shadows cast down over her body, concealing her form. With each step, the hood bounced atop her pink-tinted red hair. Those youthful yet emotionally tired pink pools stared out into the distance. Of late, Amai had been focused moreso on her well-being. Her wandering nomadic lifestyle was working for her, but she yearned for a home once more. She missed that paradise with her mother, sister, and…

The young woman shook her head, wanting those thoughts to leave her mind. She absent-mindedly chewed on a lollipop as she continued. She knew not where her new home existed, but she would find it. The chilly grey atmosphere dampened her mood as she traveled. She hoped to find that new dwelling soon, as her travels had taken her to different areas on the continent, seen so many different things. Her only wish was that her hard work and determination would pay off, just as it had done so in the past. However, to be honest with herself, she knew her psyche wouldn’t hold out much longer. She looked to the ground, her pace slowing. Someone was moving to pass her on the opposite side. For a fraction of a second, she was lost in herself once more.

Then, in her peripherals, she could make out that figure from her past.

No, my mind is playing tricks on me again! It couldn’t possibly be…

Amai chuckled to herself, sorry she ever trusted her broken mind, and shook her head once more. Her light voice even was audible in that chuckle, the passerby having the opportunity to catch the gist of her voice in a single sound.

She took another step to continue, certain she was just mistaken again. She wouldn’t be so easily tricked by her mind again.

{337}

Slowly she would walk among the path that she has been walking on. Her eyes that were unseen were dazing as she looked at the dirt path. Softly she would breathe coldly while walking with her feet walking forward each other like some type of cat-walk. Her lips were dry as she would then lip her lips, glossing and moisturizing them. Truly the skies seem to get darker as the time was getting slower with each step she took, but something was amiss as she would pass a short stranger. Her eyes would corner to look towards her as her mind would become fuzzy like some television.

Her right hand would smack her forehead and gripped it, tilting her head down. 'W-what is this?' she thought as her eyes winced. It stopped, but every couple of seconds she would look back (or try to), the fuzz would appear once more. Arisa made a complete stop as she would then try to hold the random feeling she was feeling as if she was shot with by some adrenaline. Her body twisted a little to look towards the little girl - or so she seemed to be one. ''Who are you?'' she would speak coldly, calmly as breaths of air would come out of her mouth like puffs of smoke due to the cold. The only thing that could be seen are her soft full lips as everything else was hidden by darkness and clothing. There was obviously some reason she was getting this feeling from this person, this girl. Was she someone that she couldn't remember? Someone perhaps from her far past? She appeared to have ninety nine problems and she seemed to be one...

Stop.

Amai continued walking past the stranger, pushing those wracking nerves aside in the back of her mind.

Stop.

Amai could feel her mind beginning to blur, as though static were coming from inside her head.

Stop.

Amai could feel that static in her mind intensifying, causing almost physical pain as the deep recesses of her mind caught on.

“Who are you?”

Her feet stopped. She had already passed the stranger. All she needed to do was continue moving and pretend this didn’t happen. This emotional stimulation was coming directly from her psyche. Adreneline started pumping, triggering a fight or flight response. This person was dangerous; not the physical dangerous so much, she could feel that this person was going to affect her mind. Her mind was urging her to continue walking, to push forward, and to forget this encounter completely.

Her feet would not move.

Her feet would not turn.

Amai’s hands were trembling under her cloak, and she very quickly caught one with the other, trying to stop the involuntary twitching. This wasn’t natural. Even in circumstances where she was outclassed, she wouldn’t be this afraid. This was different all-together. This was stronger and would cut deeper than any laceration.

For a split second, Amai could hear that voice of the past, but it was fuzzy and unclear. It didn’t quite match, and thus she couldn’t nail it down. Her response was natural; she would use her pseudonym, which had become as real of a name as her birthname, one she had used since she left paradise. She shifted her lollipop to the side of her mouth to speak slowly and clearly; her still-youthful voice basically unchanged over the past decade.

“Amai Okashi.”

In this situation, the bones in her jaw begged for brevity as they gritted before and after her response.

{304}

Her eyes would look and dark towards the girl who was hiding behind her cloak-like outfit. Her heart was stricken as she waited for this person to speak. 'Speak dammit!' she thought feeling some kind of rage inside. Why was this unknown person making her blood boil?

'Would you kill to survive? To save a life?' A voice would speak.

Her head shook as she tried to get that dark voice out of her head. The fuzz was rather devouring her train of thoughts, but what made it worse was when the girl spoke. The voice that spoke was as if the voice was from death itself. Truly she had a inner lust for death, but this was not that kind of feeling. Her brain started to hurt like some thin ass snack slithered through her gate of memories deep within her skull. Her eyes winced as she would grip her own sides, clenching her nails into her own outfit. She tried to withstand the pain as she would then take a deep breather. ''I see...'' she would say simply as her brain tried to picture the voice with something that was trapped into her memory. ''You just felt familiar...'' she would say once more in her calm cold voice. Her eyes lowered to the ground to think as tiny pictures of someone's body appeared, yet no face. Who was she? She had to know... Slowly Arisa would walk quickly towards the girl to pull down her hoodie. Her eyes widened as she looked down at her, standing obviously taller than her. Her body itself though couldn't move as her brain felt a large shock making her just stand there.

No...

''Neechan! Wait for me!'' she would hear someone speak in the same voice she just heard from the girl she was standing in front of in reality. ''Stop running faster!'' Alice would yell cutely. ''Haha, you can't catch me, imouchan.~'' A younger Arisa would tease the girl behind her. She saw her younger self smile so happily and innocently. What were they running towards? Arisa of the present would look towards then the house they were going towards and there...there was two people standing. Was that her mother and father? As she was about to walk towards them to reach out, whispering their names in which she couldn't hear herself, she saw herself in reality in front of who that little girl was. Arisa wasn't really able to move or anything..

That burning sensation in her mind continued to grow, paralysis completely taking over her body. Amai did not want this, but she felt powerless to stop it from happening. Every trigger in her mind was screaming to run, but she couldn't. Frozen for the first time in a long long time, emotions were spinning and swirling and mixing within her. Without any clear direction, she could not act. Even her usually strong instincts were kneecapped in this fear-like trance.

Movement.

The woman behind her had begun to move. Amai's lips trembled, the lollipop tapping against the teeth in her quaking jaw. This feeling was unexplainable. The irrationality of it was compounding on these feelings to make it worse and worse. Her eyes twitched within their sockets, the pupils and irises shrinking; her mind did not want to see this person approaching. Her subconscious was trying to shut down her senses. For a second even, she could swear she went blind and deaf.

Those footsteps grew louder as the woman swung around in front. Amai looked down, the hood covering her face. This situation was too tense, the seeing those hands move up to her hood was pushing the tension over the top. Her knees began to buckle underneath her, and her breath was hastening and shortening. Her body was rejecting what her senses were telling her, all to protect her psyche. The hood came down, but she could not look up at the person.

Truth.

Freedom.

Amai looked up. So many emotions rushed to the forefront.

Love.

Hate.

Fear.

At first she completely froze. Then, her body began to tremble. Then even…tears began to swell.

“A…Ar…i…N…Nee…?”

{276}

At least, that's what Amai had originally thought. Consumed by this fear of their darkened pasts, the young girl turned and bolted from the scene, not looking back. All of the emotions swelling up inside of her, making her head feel ready to burst, were encompassing all of her thoughts. Her breath quickened as the adrenaline forced her to move. She did not even bother to pull the hood of her cloak back over her head as it bounced atop her neck.

This wasn't right. This wasn't sane.

Even if she were to try, things would end up the same.

She couldn't. She wouldn't.

Those memories resurfaced again.

Run. Run. Or else.

Her father's mutilated face resurfaced in her mind for the first time in years.

Run.

Run.




Run.




And so...she ran.

{139}

[ Exit ]