Lacie didn’t want to admit it, because that would be a flaw in her plan but she couldn’t deny it. She more or less missed Selena. The fact that her cousin had wanted some sort of reunion and get them all happily back together, which included Lacie. That was nice. She didn’t want Alice in that picture of course but well she wouldn’t have to wait long for that. Not that she had spoken Lucifer after that one meeting anymore but she could feel it in her bones, her soul was a good price for this thing. Besides she was still alive if you could call it that. She looked at the mirror and her reflection, she still wished that she looked different. Maybe she didn’t even hate the orange colour of her hair, her little nose and the freckles but it was a worse look if she compared it to Alice, whose hair looked brighter orange, who was skinnier and only had freckles in the summer, whose eyes looked gold in the right light and not hers that looked dull brown. She wasn’t entirely sure how she got up with this because before seeing Alice alive she wouldn’t find herself ugly, she loved herself in all the dresses and skirts that she had but now, everything was this dull colour, this dull version. She couldn’t help but let out a scream and smashed with her fist against the mirror. Not that she expected to be able to break it, it was but a small line of glass and thus it broke or well dented and she cut her knuckles and stared at the blood. Was it darker than normal blood? It was difficult to compare. She felt like sobbing but she shouldn’t, she shouldn’t pity herself. She stood up from the stool that she was sitting on to find something to clean the wound with. She left her bedroom, for the first time wondering if Baron was still in the apartment but he wasn’t, or well she didn’t see him in the living room or the kitchen. Perhaps he was asleep but she wasn’t waiting for him. It was not the same as the one friend she had or the family that apparently did long for her. She wondered if the spell that she had done a couple of days or weeks ago had worked. Maybe she was regretting it now but she had those moments where she lost every sensible way of thinking and did things that no one (there were exceptions of course) thought about doing them, how did she always get at that point. How she wanted to kill Alice.. well that would obviously always be a thing she still wanted. She would be the good one, she would be alive for as far as it counted. But also, she wouldn’t be the crazy one anymore. That’s when she walked back to her room and stared at the bag that she absolutely didn’t dare to touch.

She turned to look away and to get out of this room and outside. In that bag was the diary of her mother, she had stolen it from the Headquarters because Alice stole it from her. It wasn’t a nice diary, not as she had hoped. She felt broken or better betrayed by her mother’s thoughts. She took the coat with her bandaged hand and slammed the door shut behind her. She normally avoided the colour black for jackets but since she got this from Namé, she would still keep it. Not entirely sure if they were friends now or not but it was a nice gesture after hers was stolen. She walked into the city and decided it might be for the best to distract herself while doing jobs. After all, being lonely was just the only issue. Perhaps she should write a letter to the knights to find Selena and catch up with her. But not now, she had enough other things to do, she found a quest about playing chess, she remembered they did that in the nunnery where she stayed after she ran away from her father. She had not played in ages but it sure sounded like fun, for now, it had company. So she took it off the quest board and headed towards the city park to find this boy, much younger than her playing chess by himself. ”Can I join you?” she asked, as friendly as Lacie could be. She showed him the paper that he must have hung on the board. He pointed at the chair and she took a seat and focused at first on the game which he set up, she played white and he played the black colour. Politeness, she guessed. A bit further into the game, he started to talk about his family and the pressure he got from home because of his elder brothers and she perhaps didn’t exactly knew how he felt, since she had no home to return to, but pressure from family: she knew. So she listened, talked, consulted as best as she could, because she wanted to stay nice. For a child like him; it might not be too late yet. Was she really that crazy? She also had to remain quiet at some points as she was concentrating on the game, she was sure she would lose but she didn’t like losing games so she would be able to try a bit harder, but how to win from a prodigy. So perhaps she should have focused on the conversation as she had lost indeed but the boy, Bart, thanked her and handed her some jewels. She pretended that she didn’t want to accept them at all but since he offered another time, she took it. Because it was obvious that she wanted it. She wasn’t entirely sure what she should do now, the moment the game was over and she walked away from Bart and the chess table, she felt lonely again and wanted to do something to get that feeling away.