Kaiser was doing some funny things these days. Well, not exactly ‘funny’ but it was unlike herself. Who would have thought that this heartless vampire would decide to get a pet? Not only did she get a pet, she got one that could speak. Maybe it was because she was starting to get old, that she was getting lonely and wanting some extra company, though that was not the case. It was more because she got bored going around the city on her own. Even though it was not a person, a pet would do as well, a speaking one too so she could talk to it and vice versa. So the pet that she decided to get was a ferret and right at the moment she bought it, she also purchased some leaves that would grant the ferret the ability to speak. Was this a stupid decision to give it speech as well? We will find out.

She named her Pabu, because that literally meant ‘puffball’ and she was a puffball. Even though it was a ‘she’, Pabu felt more like a genderless little creature, but after all a vagina was a vagina and that little bitch had one. They left the villa that day with Pabu on Kaiser’s shoulder and judging almost everyone that came in her sight. Kaiser found most of her comments funny. After some time together, they were starting to think on the same wavelength. Pabu was also an expert in finding things that Kaiser would miss on her own, such as money. After taking jobs, Pabu always found more money for Kaiser than she would normally find and that was a big plus for her. Even though she almost spent a fortune on the pet itself as well as the leaves, it was worth.

The vampire was once again looking for work, especially because she wanted to make use of Pabu’s scavenging abilities. It would be the first ever job that she was taking with her. Pabu was excited, and it would be a lie to say that Kaiser was not excited as well. She wanted to see how good the puffball was at finding things for her. She did not care if it counted as theft. As they walked from the villa to the shopping district, the little ferret would do her usual thing, and that was to judge whatever she saw that she felt like criticizing. Every time, the vampire chuckled. She also joined in and made fun of people which was what she did anyway but never out loud. Now that she had someone to do it with, she felt kind of happy about that.

“Who wears fur in this heat?” the orange fur ball said, and this caused the vampire to chuckle once again. She nodded in response, but did not say anything since she caught sight of her latest client. This was another issue of ‘powerful men’ once again so she was more determined to help with it. Even though she could not figure out who these ‘powerful men’ were yet, she would bother them by killing the bandits they sent every time so that they themselves showed up at some point. Kaiser also wanted to train Pabu so that she could help her in more ways than finding more money. She wanted the judgemental fur ball to be able to think like her too, and be another set of eyes and ears for her. “I wonder if he thought a beard would suit him. That’s a terrible look, not gonna lie,” whispered the ferret, into the vampire’s ears.

The client was waiting patiently outside of his shop, unlike the previous client who was too busy with his shop things to pay any attention to her when she first showed up in front of his shop. This man, like Pabu was talking about, had a stupid mustache on his face that did not suit his almost extra youthful face. It was sticking out like a sore thumb, almost like it was fake. Pabu gave him a judgmental look but the man only paid attention to Kaiser who greeted him with a smile and a handshake. He was grinning like an idiot, causing the ferret to roll her eyes. She still could not get used to men being idiots when they were dealing with Kaiser. At some point, however, she would get used to it, just like how Kaiser got used to it herself.

“Nice to meet you, I’m Kaiser,” said the vampire with a business smile. The man introduced himself as ‘Carl’ and of course the ferret had to stifle her laugh with a cough, which was the only time the man turned to take a look at the fur ball, commenting on how cute it was. Pabu did not want to let it be known that she was capable of speaking, so she just stayed quiet. She was a funny little creature. Kaiser remembered the first time that she started speaking, a whole bunch of illegible words rolled out of her mouth and she was so confused. The first thing she said that Kaiser could properly understand was, ‘Wow you can hear my thoughts now.’ She could not stop making fun of her after that, and still did it from time to time. Back to business, however, Pabu remained silent as she judged the man in her head.

After introductions were out of the way, Carl launched into his story, talking about how he had dealt with these men before, and probably exaggerating how he was normally a tough guy who did not need the help of anyone else before when handling this kind of business. Kaiser was very tempted to ask him why he was asking for help now then, but she shut up for the sake of having good relations with her client. Pabu also was thinking on the same wavelength, plus she was pretending to be unable to speak, so she kept her silence throughout the entire conversation. Only after the conversation ended, the client realised that they had been standing outside the store the entire time, not even bothering to offer Kaiser a drink or something, and apologized gravely.

“It’s fine,” said Kaiser, taking a look at the name of the shop as well as a peek inside to see what he sold, then giving him a smile. “I’ll be back when it’s time.” The name of the shop gave her no clue as to what was being sold because it was simply ‘Carl’s Shop’. She was sure that Pabu was going to say something about that too after they were out of Carl’s sight. After the conversation, Kaiser left the shop and headed to get a drink elsewhere. She would rather talk to Pabu than engage in small talk with her client, who offered a drink by the way just before Kaiser said it was fine. As soon as he was out of sight, Pabu began talking about the things that Kaiser expected she would talk about.

“Seriously? ‘Carl’s Shop’? That man is a sore loser and the pathetic name he gave his shop proves that,” she said, tutting and shaking her head.

Since it was a shopping district, there were also stalls in random corners that were selling drinks and stuff so she stopped by one of them and looked at the menu. The owner of the shop was a young girl who was probably taking care of her parents’ shop or something, Kaiser assumed since she did not look like someone capable of setting up this shop and handling the business on her own. If you think that she is being judgemental in this case, the kid was actually like seven. Once she saw the vampire the young girl jumped off her chair and bounced up and down towards her. She had really short brown hair, with colorful clips to keep hair out of her eyes, probably. Her attire however was the most colorful combination of clothes that Kaiser had ever seen in like years. The first thing that caught the child’s attention was, of course, Pabu. Much to the furball’s demise, however, the child squealed upon noticing the ferret perched on top of the vampire’s shoulder. Kaiser gave her companion a side glance, while Pabu rolled her eyes in response. She wanted to die. This was nothing new though. They experienced it quite a number of times before and it was hell for Pabu every single damn time. She pretended to be mute as usual, not wanting to let the kid know that she could talk because that would make it worse, duh. About a whole three minutes later, the child averted her attention back to her customer and asked the vampire what she wanted to drink. Kaiser was already looking at the menu while she was staring at Pabu, unable to decide if she should just go for a plain drink or different. In the end she chose lemonade.

Since it was just a lemonade, it did not take long for the girl to make it. However, she was too obsessed with Pabu at the moment and could not stop asking questions about her. Kaiser had to say ‘No’ about a hundred times to questions she asked like: ‘Can I play with it?’ and ‘Does it talk?’ and ‘Can I touch it?’ and ‘Can I put it on my shoulder?’ and last but not the least, ‘Can I feed it berries?’ She asked each of these questions at least five times within the duration of preparing the lemonade for the vampire. Kaiser was only tolerating this because she found it amusing how curious the child was as well as how annoyed her pet was. Pabu just wanted to get away from her and the shop as soon as possible. Once the lemonade was ready, Kaiser paid the kid immediately and left the stall, sipping on her newly purchased lemonade as Pabu complained about having to sit there being silent and listening to the child ask things that she wanted to say ‘No, bitch’ or ‘In your dreams!’ to. She was really annoyed about that, apparently and this made Kaiser giggle. The vampire then walked around, thinking of something to do while she waited for the time to pass. What was she even going to do in such a long time? It was not such a long time if you really thought about it, so she decided to get a massage at a spa that was also in the district. While she got a massage, she could listen to Pabu talk about the latest gossip with the masseuses or something. This had happened, before by the way, with girls at a nail salon. Pabu just could not freaking shut up.

After the very relaxing massage session, Kaiser was ready to beat up a whole group of thugs, or at least she felt like it. She paid the masseuse and gave her a tip as well for being so patient with Pabu who just could not stop talking. After the session, Kaiser was pretty sure she was up to date on all the happenings in not only Magnolia City, but also the whole nation of Fiore. Just listening to Pabu talk to random strangers gave Kaiser a lot of information that she would not obtain otherwise. The vampire then got out of the spa, with Pabu perched on her shoulder as usual. She jerked her head to the left once and then to the right, producing really loud cracking noises from both actions as she let out a satisfied sigh. She did a whole two hours session since that was the time that Carl said he would close up his shop. She did not want to have a conversation with the man again, however, so she tried as hard as she could to avoid him and only went into the shop when he had left. Pabu heaved a sigh of relief as Carl completely disappeared from the district. He did not do anything to her, but she could not stand him, so she was glad that he was gone. Once it was nighttime, just like the previous shop she helped out with, Carl’s Shop also got some visitors. Unfortunately for them, they were greeted by the mercilessness of Kaiser’s magic. She made sure not to destroy the shop or anything surrounding it when she used her magic. She handled it pretty well, and Pabu was mentally praising her owner and though she did not do it out loud Kaiser felt it.

Using her magic as well as her physical combat abilities to defeat the bandits who were sent to ruin Carl’s Shop, Kaiser was able to keep the shop and everything inside it out of harm’s way. The shop was pretty nicely locked up though. She wondered if that was because Carl did not really believe in her ability to guard his shop or something. She made a mental note to ask about this the next day when she came back to collect her reward. If he said that he was indeed worried that Kaiser might not be able to defend his shop, then there was no promise that she would not do it herself just to spite him, you know. The advantage of seeing clearly through darkness like it was day for humans was a real plus for the vampire since after closing time the entire shopping district was pretty much shrouded in complete darkness. Even though the bandits were many and Kaiser was one, she was enough to handle the group animal like men. She wondered if helping out the shops here meant that she was going to have to deal with these bandits all the time. She had taken two jobs of the sort and both involved having to deal with them, so she was making a wild guess when she imagined taking jobs from the other shops would result in her having to deal with more bandits as well.

During the whole fight Pabu was just clinging on to Kaiser for dear life, because the outfit she was wearing did not let her crawl in and be safe there instead like she normally did. The bandits were mostly pretty badly hurt, and those that weren’t completely knocked out were too scared to keep fighting, and instead ran away. Kaiser waited for a while before she left actually, to make sure that they did not come back or something. After some time, she left the shopping district which was completely dark. She would come back to collect her reward the next day even though she just wished Carl would send the payment through a bank transfer to her account or something. Oh well, the things she was going through for the sake of her guild and...herself as well of course. The whole way back to the villa, Pabu was complaining about how she could have like died.