Cameras flashed. The sound of people echoed everywhere. They were all chattering about something or another. But what? In front of the crowd stood a podium with a microphone. Behind the microphone stood a man with blonde hair an eyepatch. In front of the podium was a large number of reporters eager for the new controversial headline. And to the side of the man that stood on the podium was a frame supported by a stand. And what was in that frame? A painting of a certain green amphibian. "Ladies and gentlemen of Oak, I can absolutely assure you that this frog is not a hate symbol!"

Record scratch.

The entire world paused. All sound stopped. Nothing was moving. Not even perception was moving, if that line makes any fucking sense at all. Zane's deep, sexy, amazing, lovable, award winning (source pending) voice chimed in on the frozen world. "Yeah, that's me. You're probably wondering how I got here. It's a long story... I think. Not really sure how many posts this thread is gonna be yet." Zane's voice cleared its throat, seemingly a bit on edge. Zane was nervous. He had broken the fourth wall a number of times, but never anything to this degree - especially not in any threads with a title that was so utterly clickable. Thank you for taking your time to read this, by the way. "Anyways, uh... let's go back in time. Or something."


It was 2 days ago. Zane stood in the halls of the highly esteemed Majura Gallery, often known as one of the best galleries in all of Earthland. Zane had visited here once when he was younger. He remembered quite liking their selection. Zane's feet made an echo through the shiny floors. It was quiet in here. Really quiet. Probably because gallery-goers really don't like sound, right? "I think it's just empty, if I were to be completely honest with you. Beelzebub chimed in, the sudden voice in Zane's head seriously messing up his vibe. Zane spoke back in his thoughts. "Can you not do that kinda stuff so suddenly?! You have a point, I'll admit." Zane hadn't noticed a single person inside so far (outside of the staff) and only saw a bunch of teenagers smoking some sort of substance outside. It was safe to say their intentions were not to come in and appreciate the art. Zane's eyes wandered the walls of the gallery. He could see why they wouldn't wanna be here. "Their selection really sucks nowadays. I guess after the owner died the people who were put in charge just couldn't keep up. At least I know there will always be one good painting here."

"Oh?" Beelzebub asked, clearly as curious as a cat who was ready to die. Being a demon that represented greed meant that things like this very easily caught his interest. "Which one of them do you speak of, Zane? Naturally I want all of these paintings at some point, but it's a good strategy to go for the best first." Fast walking down the halls, Zane hurriedly headed towards the painting he was speaking of. Usually he wouldn't have this much enthusiasm for showing Beelzebub such a thing, but today was different. This was a painting that Zane genuinely loved. He wanted the weird demon voice inside his head to know about it. Zane turned the corner, heading towards the spot where he remembered the painting being at. And when he got there, Zane saw it. He saw....

Nothing. An empty frame. This was definitely the frame Zane was remembering, but the once glorious frog that had sat in its embrace was now gone. Zane panicked. "...Is this one of those things humans sometimes do? Where they say 'art is in the disappointment of nothing being there' or something like that?" Zane felt so flustered by this that he actually spoke out loud, his feet now angrily directing him towards the front desk. "No, they got rid of it! I can't believe them!"

Zane finally arrived at the front desk, slamming his hands on it as if he was a lawyer in a certain early 2000s Capcom game. The woman at the desk yelped a bit at Zane's sudden fury towards the furniture. "Where the FUCK is Pepe?!" Zane asked, Beelzebub taking note that this was easily the angriest he had ever seen Zane. "W-we removed it! It's too controversial!" Zane was about to ask what she meant, but a memory came to him. Sighing and taking his hands off the desk, Zane turned around and put his hands on his face as he paced around the general area. "Zane? Did you happen to remember something?"

Zane nodded, explaining to Beelzebub out loud. The eyepatched man was far too angry to care about looking crazy or not right now. "Yeah, I know what she's talking about. A few years back that frog was deemed a hate symbol by the Fiorian government. The original owner was insistent on keeping it up, though. Guess the spineless cowards that inherited this place were too afraid of art being controversial. That's the whole damn point of art!" Zane finished his rant, looking towards the woman. The woman looked back. Zane decided that she probably didn't know much and decided to head outside. He wanted to think of a way to see that painting again. He NEEDED to think of a way.

Zane took in the fresh air. It had been a minute or two since his explosive rage. Luckily a minute or two was more than enough for Zane to think of a plan. Zane took note of the approaching sunset, taking a lean on the wall outside of the gallery. He explained to Beelzebub just what the plan was. "We go to the nearby garbage bin."

"Not exactly a good start." Beelzebub admitted. A foul stench filled Zane's nose as he approached the bin, Beelzebub dreading the fact that he shared senses with his host. Zane ignored the smell as he pulled out a large frame. Turning around the frame, Zane noted that there was a noticeable dent on the bottom right. It was definitely something that people who knew a thing or two about art would be able to figure out, but not your average person. Zane had to bet on the possibility that the woman at the desk was just somebody looking for easy money rather than someone genuinely invested in the idea of showing off art.

Zane brought the frame to the front of the gallery, just outside the door. He threw it on the ground. "Here's our ticket into their storeroom." Zane stood still for a minute,  channeling a spell. Suddenly, Zane became 2 dimensional. No different from any painting you'd see on a frame. Laying down on the ground, Zane slide himself into the frame. It was a bit of a tight fit, admittedly. He had to bend himself a certain way. But it worked. "I guess those Earthland girls you hit on are right when they call you two-dimensional, Zane." Zane wanted to laugh, but he chose not to out of what little pride he had.

Zane's bet paid off. He was carried into the storage room by a large man that the woman had called. She had tried to pick it up herself, but Zane was a tad too heavy for her. He probably should cut back on the dining out. Sliding out of the frame, Zane stood his paper Mario looking ass up and took in his surroundings. It was almost closing time. There was a good chance nobody would be coming in here any time soon. Choosing to stay in his paper form just for the fun of it, Zane frantically searched the room. Pepe had to be here. He had to. "Pepe, Pepe, Pepe..." Zane muttered as he moved across the storeroom.

"I'm afraid that you'll be finding no amphibians here, my paper friend. Though I suppose most would call it 'hate symbol' these days."

Zane turned to face the figure who spoke. The figure seemed shocked that Zane could recognize its voice. The red haired man only had two thirds of his body, the bottom of it fading off into the wind. He was translucent. He was a ghost. Zane's face had a hint of horror on it. "Is that a ghost?!" Beelzebub asked, the demon somehow even more afraid of the paranormal than Zane. "A real ghost..."

"You can see me?!" The ghost asked, moving closer to Zane. Zane backed up in return, his paper self soon pressed up against the wall. "Exquisite! Finally, an ally to help me restore this gallery to its former glory!" Zane tilted his head. Wait. This ghost seemed familiar. Was it...? "You're the owner, aren't you?" Zane asked, his jaw agape at the fact. "Geb Majura... former Phantom Lord guildmaster - and more importantly - Majura Gallery founder."

"Indeed."

What's gonna happen next? You'll have to wait for the next post. Sorry.

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"You're the first living thing to have seen me, I believe. This is no coincidence."

Geb seemed to go on unfazed. Zane was still in shock. He had never expected to see a REAL ghost before. The most he expected to see was people who seemed extremely creepy at specific lighting and angles. Like that Masami kid. Still, this was Fiore Zane was talking about. Crazier things both had happened and would happen in the future. Zane's face turned to a more neutral expression. He got over that pretty fast all things considering. "Maybe it's because of the pepe painting? Do you know where it is?" Zane seemed excited at the possibility to see the glorious picture of that beautiful green amphibian once again. Perhaps the real reason that Zane could see Geb was their shared love of art. The alternative was that Geb wasn't real and Zane was crazy. The latter was more likely, but the former was cooler.  "Certainly not in this gallery. I've been haunting here since a week or two after I died. It's been gone since then. I've searched every nook and cranny, and yet still it eludes me. The only explanation is that it's somewhere else."

Zane was surprised to hear that Geb had been haunting this place at all, let alone for so long. Geb was pretty young when he died to be fair. Perhaps passing away at such a small age left a lot of regrets behind? "Zane. I've seen pictures of this Geb guy before in books and the like. Isn't he supposed to look manlier? With white hair?" The situation Zane was in was so crazy that he didn't even bother talking to Beelzebub in his head, instead mistakenly talking out loud. "Nah, you haven't seen all the pictures. He looked a lot different depending on the date the photo was taken. Some have him with dark hair, and others have him with red." Geb tilted his ethereal head, wondering just who Zane was speaking to. "Is there someone else here?" Zane was too caught up with the craziness of the situation that he didn't even bother trying to lie about the fact. "Nah, I just have this demon inside my head who I talk with a lot."

"Oh. I see."

"Anyways, we need to leave this storeroom first. You should be able to slide under that door with the way you are now." Geb pointed towards the steel door that stood between them and the rest of the gallery. Paper Zane turned to face it. This door would be very, very hard to break. It was a good thing Zane decided to pick up this cloak. Being paper was pretty damn fun as well. Zane made his way towards the door, falling down to the ground. Geb floated towards Zane, watching him go under the door, simply phasing through the door himself. "This reminds me of the gimmick from Link Between Worlds. The best Zelda game, dare I say." Zane firmly made his way out from under the door, his 2d self standing back up and walking down the staff hallway of the empty gallery that had closed completely by now. "I'm more of a Majora's Mask guy myself."

Geb needed them to get out of the gallery. It seemed like a fairly easy task. Nobody was here, right? Wrong. The janitor's whistle could faintly be heard from down the hall. Zane panicked as the man seemed to be approaching down the corner of the lighted hallway. Noticing a closet near the end of the hall, Zane pressed himself up against the wall to buy some time. He couldn't be seen nearly as easily this way, being paper-like and all. Zane moved along the wall, sliding through the crack in the door of the closet. Geb's ghostly body followed him in. "Zane, look! That mop should hide your face well enough." It seemed as though there was a spare mop in the closer that Zane could obscure most of his paper self with. Good call. Zane moved behind the mop, hoping the janitor wouldn't take a look inside regardless. Zane's eyes moved towards a peculiar object on the shelf of the closet. "...Is that a finger?" He whispered, keeping his voice down as to not alert the janitor.

Geb laughed, almost instantly recognizing it. Zane felt disgusted at the sight of it. It seemed like it was removed years ago. "So that's where it went! This brings back such pleasant memories."

"Shriveling fingers give you PLEASANT memories? And I thought I was crazy..." Zane felt like gagging as he whispered, just barely holding it back. Beelzebub was surprised that Zane wasn't okay with a finger but was perfectly fine dumpster diving a little while ago. "You really had to be there. One day I was sitting in my gallery. I had just put up this new Kermit piece that looked absolutely fantastic. A girl in the gallery suddenly got her finger cut off! I tell you, that was easily the most yakuza thing to ever happen in this country. It felt unreal. Absolutely thrilling."

The janitor passed by the closet, evident by his whistling heading in another direction. Zane took his first chance to get he hell out of that closet. Gasping, Zane let the fresh (comparatively fresh at least) air cleanse him as Geb followed his paper body along the wall until eventually they were met with a security exit. Zane slid out the door, now in an Oak back alley. "Thank god that's done with... I know I'm the crazy comedic relief character and all, but fingers in closets is a biiiiiit too overboard." Zane remained in his paper form, walking down the alley towards the streets. "So, where to next?"

"The Phantom Lord Guild hall building. Or is it something else now? In my time as a spirit I've heard wind of them shutting down." Zane nodded. "Don't think they're there anymore. I think I know the building you're talking about though." And so Zane brought his 2d feet across the streets of Oak. This wasn't a good time of night to be in a city like this. But it was all worth it for a potential look at pepe... not. Zane decided to just turn around and go do something else. He wasn't about to get cut up like arts and crafts out here. Adventures with Geb could wait for another day. He was a ghost, right? Eternally bound? Zane had all the time in the world to come back.

EXIT

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