Star Make Magic [D-Rank Spells]

**Akira Eiji** · Mon Jan 25, 2021 4:51 pm

Guild :

Guildless

Jewels :

25,000

Rank :

D-Rank

Race :

Human

Experience :

3,750

Reputation :

100

Class :

Sorcerer

Magic :

Star Make Magic

Strength :

5

Speed :

5

Constitution :

4

Endurance :

6

Intelligence :

6

Mana :

200

Boosts :

30% New Member Bonus starting on (26/01/2021)

Name: Star Make Sword

Rank: D

Mana Cost: 25

Requirements: Star Make Magic

Type: Offensive.

Element: Fire/Earth.

Range: Self

Cooldown: 1 Posts

Duration: Instant

Effect: Akira claps his hands. A red and brown magic circle appears between his hands. As he opens his hands, a sword made of earth and fire, one meter long and .07 meters wide, will appear. If a target is hit, the sword will deal 1x D-Rank Fire and Earth damage.

Name: Star Make Canon

Rank: D

Mana Cost: 25

Requirements: Star Make Magic

Type: Offensive.

Element: Fire/Earth.

Range: 5 meters

Cooldown: 1 Posts

Duration: Instant

Effect: Akira claps his hands, then holds one hand out in front of him, causing a red and brown magic circle to appear on the ground in front of him. A cannon made of fire and earth, .25 meters tall and one meter long, will form. The cannon will fire a projectile of fire and earth, .1 meters in diameter at a target within 5 meters of Akira. If the projectile hits its target, it will deal 1x D-Rank Fire and Earth damage.

Name: Star Make Guatlent

Rank: D

Mana Cost: 25

Requirements: Star Make Magic

Type: Offensive

Element: Fire/Earth.

Range: Self

Cooldown: 1 Posts

Duration: Sustained.

Effect: Akira claps his hands, causing a red and brown magic circle to appear around one of his hands. A spiked gauntlet of fire and earth will form around that hand. If a target is struck with the gauntlet, they will take 1x D-Rank Fire and Earth damage.

Name: Star Make Greaves.

Rank: D

Mana Cost: 25

Requirements: Star Make Magic

Type: Offensive

Element: Fire/Earth.

Range: Self

Cooldown: 1 Posts

Duration: Instant

Effect: The male stomps his foot on the floor, a red and brown magic circle appearing under it. A spiked boot made of fire and earth will appear around his foot. It deals 1x D-Rank Fire and Earth damage.

Last edited by Akira Eiji on Tue Jan 26, 2021 8:58 am; edited 3 times in total

**Mikajia** · Mon Jan 25, 2021 6:27 pm

Epithet :

The Pale Horse

Guild :

Crawling Chaos

Jewels :

2,526,000

Rank :

S-Rank

Race :

Daemon

Experience :

632,750

Reputation :

14,800

Class :

Hunter

Aura :

Emperor

Magic :

Enhanced Chain Magic

Strength :

136

Speed :

35

Constitution :

43

Endurance :

49

Intelligence :

263

Mana :

3,400

Head :

Magatama

Body :

Elder Hunter's Coat

Hello, I'll be grading your spells.

First off, I suggest that for the motions for your spells, you simplify it to something like: Akira claps his hands". That would work perfectly fine.

Star Make Sword:

'Once they release the clap', 'the circle disappearing'. Remove those bits. All you really need to say is: As he opens his hands, a sword made of earth and fire, one meter long and .07 meters wide, will appear.
You don't need to mention the sword disappearing, whether the attack lands or not, as this is an instant spell.
For damage, you simply need to say something like: If a target is hit with the sword, it will deal 1x D-Rank fire and earth damage.

Star Make Cannon:

I recommend your phrasing for this spell to be: Akira claps his hands, then holds one hand out in front of him, causing a red and brown magic circle to appear on the ground in front of him. A cannon made of fire and earth, .25 meters tall and one meter long, will form. The cannon will fire a projectile of fire and earth, .1 meters in diameter at a target within 5 meters of Akira. If the projectile hits its target, it will deal 1x D-Rank Fire and Earth damage.

Star Make Gauntlet:

State: Akira claps his hands, causing a red and brown magic circle to appear around one of his hands. A spiked gauntlet of fire and earth will form around that hand. If a target is struck with the gauntlet, they will take 1x D-Rank Fire and Earth damage.

Star Make Greaves:

'The magic circle is a red color'. Remove this, as you have already stated the color of the circle.
'The boot is made of Star Make Magic'. Remove this, as it's redundant, and you don't need to mention it.
You can simply say: A spiked boot made of fire and earth appears around his foot.
State the damage as: 1x D-Rank Fire and Earth damage.
You don't need state that the boot disappears if it misses, as this is an instant spell.

Bump when edits have been made.

**Akira Eiji** · Mon Jan 25, 2021 6:39 pm

Guild :

Guildless

Jewels :

25,000

Rank :

D-Rank

Race :

Human

Experience :

3,750

Reputation :

100

Class :

Sorcerer

Magic :

Star Make Magic

Strength :

5

Speed :

5

Constitution :

4

Endurance :

6

Intelligence :

6

Mana :

200

Boosts :

30% New Member Bonus starting on (26/01/2021)

Alright, all done! Bump!

Last edited by Akira Eiji on Tue Jan 26, 2021 1:26 am; edited 1 time in total

**Mikajia** · Mon Jan 25, 2021 6:54 pm

Epithet :

The Pale Horse

Guild :

Crawling Chaos

Jewels :

2,526,000

Rank :

S-Rank

Race :

Daemon

Experience :

632,750

Reputation :

14,800

Class :

Hunter

Aura :

Emperor

Magic :

Enhanced Chain Magic

Strength :

136

Speed :

35

Constitution :

43

Endurance :

49

Intelligence :

263

Mana :

3,400

Head :

Magatama

Body :

Elder Hunter's Coat

Star Make Sword:

Change the first sentence to: Akira claps his hands, causing a red and brown magic circle to appear between them.
Change the damage sentence to: If a target is hit, the sword will deal 1x D-Rank Fire and Earth damage.

Star Make Greaves:

'The boot is made out of Star Make Magic. It appears to just be around his foot, and has small spikes that are 5 cm around it.' Remove that, and just say: A spiked boot made of fire and earth will appear around his foot.
For the damage, just say it deals 1x D-Rank Fire and Earth damage. You don't actually need to specify 1x D-Rank Fire and 1x D-Rank Earth.

Bump when edits are made.

**Akira Eiji** · Tue Jan 26, 2021 2:57 am

Guild :

Guildless

Jewels :

25,000

Rank :

D-Rank

Race :

Human

Experience :

3,750

Reputation :

100

Class :

Sorcerer

Magic :

Star Make Magic

Strength :

5

Speed :

5

Constitution :

4

Endurance :

6

Intelligence :

6

Mana :

200

Boosts :

30% New Member Bonus starting on (26/01/2021)

Bump! Sorry it took so long!

**Mikajia** · Tue Jan 26, 2021 9:03 am

Epithet :

The Pale Horse

Guild :

Crawling Chaos

Jewels :

2,526,000

Rank :

S-Rank

Race :

Daemon

Experience :

632,750

Reputation :

14,800

Class :

Hunter

Aura :

Emperor

Magic :

Enhanced Chain Magic

Strength :

136

Speed :

35

Constitution :

43

Endurance :

49

Intelligence :

263

Mana :

3,400

Head :

Magatama

Body :

Elder Hunter's Coat

These spells have been approved.

Star Make Magic [D-Rank Spells]

Mon Jan 25, 2021 4:51 pm

Mon Jan 25, 2021 6:27 pm

Mon Jan 25, 2021 6:39 pm

Mon Jan 25, 2021 6:54 pm

Tue Jan 26, 2021 2:57 am

Tue Jan 26, 2021 9:03 am

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