Record scratch.
The entire world paused. All sound stopped. Nothing was moving. Not even perception was moving, if that line makes any fucking sense at all. Zane's deep, sexy, amazing, lovable, award winning (source pending) voice chimed in on the frozen world. "Yeah, that's me. You're probably wondering how I got here. It's a long story... I think. Not really sure how many posts this thread is gonna be yet." Zane's voice cleared its throat, seemingly a bit on edge. Zane was nervous. He had broken the fourth wall a number of times, but never anything to this degree - especially not in any threads with a title that was so utterly clickable. Thank you for taking your time to read this, by the way. "Anyways, uh... let's go back in time. Or something."
It was 2 days ago. Zane stood in the halls of the highly esteemed Majura Gallery, often known as one of the best galleries in all of Earthland. Zane had visited here once when he was younger. He remembered quite liking their selection. Zane's feet made an echo through the shiny floors. It was quiet in here. Really quiet. Probably because gallery-goers really don't like sound, right? "I think it's just empty, if I were to be completely honest with you. Beelzebub chimed in, the sudden voice in Zane's head seriously messing up his vibe. Zane spoke back in his thoughts. "Can you not do that kinda stuff so suddenly?! You have a point, I'll admit." Zane hadn't noticed a single person inside so far (outside of the staff) and only saw a bunch of teenagers smoking some sort of substance outside. It was safe to say their intentions were not to come in and appreciate the art. Zane's eyes wandered the walls of the gallery. He could see why they wouldn't wanna be here. "Their selection really sucks nowadays. I guess after the owner died the people who were put in charge just couldn't keep up. At least I know there will always be one good painting here."
"Oh?" Beelzebub asked, clearly as curious as a cat who was ready to die. Being a demon that represented greed meant that things like this very easily caught his interest. "Which one of them do you speak of, Zane? Naturally I want all of these paintings at some point, but it's a good strategy to go for the best first." Fast walking down the halls, Zane hurriedly headed towards the painting he was speaking of. Usually he wouldn't have this much enthusiasm for showing Beelzebub such a thing, but today was different. This was a painting that Zane genuinely loved. He wanted the weird demon voice inside his head to know about it. Zane turned the corner, heading towards the spot where he remembered the painting being at. And when he got there, Zane saw it. He saw....
Nothing. An empty frame. This was definitely the frame Zane was remembering, but the once glorious frog that had sat in its embrace was now gone. Zane panicked. "...Is this one of those things humans sometimes do? Where they say 'art is in the disappointment of nothing being there' or something like that?" Zane felt so flustered by this that he actually spoke out loud, his feet now angrily directing him towards the front desk. "No, they got rid of it! I can't believe them!"
Zane finally arrived at the front desk, slamming his hands on it as if he was a lawyer in a certain early 2000s Capcom game. The woman at the desk yelped a bit at Zane's sudden fury towards the furniture. "Where the FUCK is Pepe?!" Zane asked, Beelzebub taking note that this was easily the angriest he had ever seen Zane. "W-we removed it! It's too controversial!" Zane was about to ask what she meant, but a memory came to him. Sighing and taking his hands off the desk, Zane turned around and put his hands on his face as he paced around the general area. "Zane? Did you happen to remember something?"
Zane nodded, explaining to Beelzebub out loud. The eyepatched man was far too angry to care about looking crazy or not right now. "Yeah, I know what she's talking about. A few years back that frog was deemed a hate symbol by the Fiorian government. The original owner was insistent on keeping it up, though. Guess the spineless cowards that inherited this place were too afraid of art being controversial. That's the whole damn point of art!" Zane finished his rant, looking towards the woman. The woman looked back. Zane decided that she probably didn't know much and decided to head outside. He wanted to think of a way to see that painting again. He NEEDED to think of a way.
Zane took in the fresh air. It had been a minute or two since his explosive rage. Luckily a minute or two was more than enough for Zane to think of a plan. Zane took note of the approaching sunset, taking a lean on the wall outside of the gallery. He explained to Beelzebub just what the plan was. "We go to the nearby garbage bin."
"Not exactly a good start." Beelzebub admitted. A foul stench filled Zane's nose as he approached the bin, Beelzebub dreading the fact that he shared senses with his host. Zane ignored the smell as he pulled out a large frame. Turning around the frame, Zane noted that there was a noticeable dent on the bottom right. It was definitely something that people who knew a thing or two about art would be able to figure out, but not your average person. Zane had to bet on the possibility that the woman at the desk was just somebody looking for easy money rather than someone genuinely invested in the idea of showing off art.
Zane brought the frame to the front of the gallery, just outside the door. He threw it on the ground. "Here's our ticket into their storeroom." Zane stood still for a minute, channeling a spell. Suddenly, Zane became 2 dimensional. No different from any painting you'd see on a frame. Laying down on the ground, Zane slide himself into the frame. It was a bit of a tight fit, admittedly. He had to bend himself a certain way. But it worked. "I guess those Earthland girls you hit on are right when they call you two-dimensional, Zane." Zane wanted to laugh, but he chose not to out of what little pride he had.
Zane's bet paid off. He was carried into the storage room by a large man that the woman had called. She had tried to pick it up herself, but Zane was a tad too heavy for her. He probably should cut back on the dining out. Sliding out of the frame, Zane stood his paper Mario looking ass up and took in his surroundings. It was almost closing time. There was a good chance nobody would be coming in here any time soon. Choosing to stay in his paper form just for the fun of it, Zane frantically searched the room. Pepe had to be here. He had to. "Pepe, Pepe, Pepe..." Zane muttered as he moved across the storeroom.
"I'm afraid that you'll be finding no amphibians here, my paper friend. Though I suppose most would call it 'hate symbol' these days."
Zane turned to face the figure who spoke. The figure seemed shocked that Zane could recognize its voice. The red haired man only had two thirds of his body, the bottom of it fading off into the wind. He was translucent. He was a ghost. Zane's face had a hint of horror on it. "Is that a ghost?!" Beelzebub asked, the demon somehow even more afraid of the paranormal than Zane. "A real ghost..."
"You can see me?!" The ghost asked, moving closer to Zane. Zane backed up in return, his paper self soon pressed up against the wall. "Exquisite! Finally, an ally to help me restore this gallery to its former glory!" Zane tilted his head. Wait. This ghost seemed familiar. Was it...? "You're the owner, aren't you?" Zane asked, his jaw agape at the fact. "Geb Majura... former Phantom Lord guildmaster - and more importantly - Majura Gallery founder."
"Indeed."
What's gonna happen next? You'll have to wait for the next post. Sorry.
- 2275/2475:
- Name: Flatten
Rank: A
Mana Cost: 200
Requirements: Adyora's Cloak
Type: Supplementary
Element: Arcane
Range: Self
Cooldown: 4 Posts
Duration: Sustain
Effect: The wearer stands still for a second and pours mana into the armor to activate this spell. Once activated, the user flattens themselves to become a two-dimensional being. They remain the same height and width, but become paper thin depth-wise. When sustaining this spell, the user cannot use their weapon.