It was rare that the young Wood Elf had time to relax. After the events that took place in Bosco, Sayha knew she needed a vacation. And what better way to spend it than on Hargeon's beaches?

Atani flexed her toes gently against the warm sand. The soft grains acted as a miniature blanket in the heat. To cool off, the elf held a ruby drink in her hand. The chilled glass was filled with a mixture of champagne and pomegranate juice. Only a couple ice cubes floated to the top. She swirled it before taking a sip of what she recently learned was called a pomegranate mimosa-- not the traditional flavor evidently, but it was the one she was most familiar with. The drink went by a different name from where she came from, and it was made with a different sort of sparkling wine; however, she did have to admit this human variant had a certain je ne sais quoi to it (that was a phrase she learned came from Minstrel, the same country the champagne was from).

While the introverted Wood Elf looked to be in a state of utter bliss by her lonesome, she was to meet someone that day. Another mimosa was sitting in the cooler awaiting his arrival. They had not seen each other for quite some time due to the foreign discourse, and there was much to discuss... Particularly of a matter regarding the guild, though she had not yet mentioned that to him. And she was hoping to put that off for as long as possible.

bloop ♡

A gentle breeze came, kissing the elf's cheeks as it blew past. Atani took off her straw hat and set it in the sand to feel the wind through her hair. With it came the scent of the salted azure sea. Now this was something she could never experience in her homeland.

"Atani," a familiar voice called out. The elf's ears perked up. Not a moment later, she could all but feel the person's presence. It was unmistakable. There was only one man Atani knew of who could remind her so much of nature itself... The Woodland Dragon Slayer. The Ace of Blue Pegasus... The man Atani feared she had a connection to in her forgotten life. Manzo Mattori.

She waved a hand from her spot to flag him down. "Man- zo?" she called back, twisting around to see her friend; however, this 'friend' was someone she had never seen before. He had a head of silver hair and eyes as blue as the sea. It was a stark contrast from the Manzo she knew. By looks alone she wouldn't believe it was the same person, but here he was. Speaking in Manzo's voice. Giving off magical energy only Dragon Slayers could match. But still, she had to ask. "Is that you?"

bloop ♡

The response the man gave was characteristic of Manzo. Likewise, it was still in the same voice. As he drew closer, the aura Atani felt pulsating off the man grew both stronger and clearer with every step. In every way but physical, this man did appear to be Manzo, but how? Atani had heard of potions that could alter appearances. Beauty products such as those were often sold in close proximity to Blue Pegasus (the guild that valued physiques, go figure), though Atani had never taken Manzo for the kind to take such a tonic.

"You look beautiful." That was the meaning of the words he spoke, but what came out of his mouth was Ci bain. Val'Elvarin. He spoke her tongue. "Le hannon," she thanked the Slayer. With having exchanged phrases in the Wood Elven language, there was no doubt in her mind that this was indeed the man she knew. It would be too rare of a coincidence for it to be otherwise.

"And you, you look... different. Very different." She meant him no offense, for he certainly retained his handsome looks, but they were expressed in an entirely new fashion. "What happened these past few months?" She handed Manzo a mimosa and gestured for him to sit.

bloop ♡

Atani arched a brow at Manzo's explanation. She knew some details of his past. Nothing specific, but enough to know that he had dealt with more than his fair share of tribulation, most of which he wished to leave in the dust. To do that, in Manzo's mind at least, that meant he had to change his appearance. Though it was not something Atani agreed with in her heart, it was not something she had personal experience with. At least, not to her recollection. She had no say in the matter.

"So this isn't the first time then, huh." Atani took a sip of her mimosa. She licked a dribble of the red liquid that remained on her bottom lip. "... And I suppose it won't be the last." It was a shame. Though this new appearance would take some getting used to, she quite liked it.

It seemed that Manzo had been up to similar ventures as herself in Bosco. "I the same, but for Hildegard." She would ignore the remark he made about Cassia. They were not here to talk about politics.

"I assume you changed while in Bosco then? I hope nothing too serious happened." Their ties to the civil war weren't as close as the native Boscans', but that didn't mean things couldn't have gone south his way.

bloop ♡

Atani sipped on her pomegranate mimosa while she listened to what Manzo had to say. She nodded her head gravely as he mentioned his experience living with the townsfolk. "It was a scary time for them," she sympathized, "I lived among the Wood Elves and demihumans for the most part. Brunhilde burned down their homes and shrines. I can't believe there are people who side with that huil."

In the name of Illumin my ass.

"But that's all behind us," she sighed. "I also did things I wasn't proud of when I was in Bosco. I'll admit that." Her green eyes darted away as she reflected back on the Boscosi girl whose death was ultimately on Atani's hands. The elves who witnessed it might have said otherwise, but she knew the truth. Her magic went out of her control. When it came time to try and save the girl, her magic refused to cooperate. For what reason, Atani did not know, but deep down she feared it was because she didn't think the girl was worthy of saving. And that was a terrifying thought.

"We're back in Fiore now though. Back where there's no civil war to fight in. Back where we can just relax for the summer."

bloop ♡

"Just one day?" she smirked. "I was going to give myself three before I got itching for some work again."

As much as Atani enjoyed relaxing on the beach or reading in her bedroom or taking a forest stroll, none of that was fulfilling to the mage. She was more of a workaholic than she thought herself to be. It seemed like her and Manzo were one in the same. The fact the Slayer wanted to cut to the chase reinforced that. Atani too liked to get to the point-- She did, at least, when it wasn't her bringing up a touchy subject.

"What, isn't it enough to want to hang out with one of my guildmates?" Her throat caught on the last word: guildmates. She bit her lip as the elf's Freudian slip revealed her given reasoning was decidedly not the case. The blonde shook her head and quietly sighed. She took yet another sip of her sparkling beverage as she tried to gather her thoughts. She could gradually express her feelings on the matter first, or she could just come out and say what the problem was. Ripping off the band-aid seemed to be the easier of the two.

"I'm thinking of leaving Blue Pegasus."

bloop ♡

Manzo took the news well. There was a harshness in his voice. She expected that. But still, Atani considered that to be an appropriate response. After their exchange of tender moments, after him telling her of a woman who left him, it was going to happen all over again. Perhaps not quite to the extent of his previous relationship with the elf Atani reminded him so much of, but it was still hard nonetheless.

"Thank you," she told him. She didn't want any dramatics involving her departure. "I... I think I just joined this guild too early, you know? I was new to Fiore. My life had been turned completely upside-down. I wasn't even sure of who I was anymore, but Blue Pegasus was just right there. It was something to keep me grounded while I was trying to figure things out."

Truth be told, she couldn't say she was any closer to figuring these 'things' out, but her time in Blue Pegasus told her the guild wouldn't be of any help with that. If anything, it would be a hinderance. A painful reminder that people like her, Ray, and Lee didn't fit in.

"And now I feel the complete opposite of grounded. Nothing in my life makes sense anymore."

bloop ♡

The elf's lips twitched in the ghost of a quiver as she looked at Manzo's expression. It was a distant void filled with nothingness. It was as if not a word she spoke registered in his mind and for the life of her she couldn't figure out why. Nothing she said should have made him gloss over like that. Nothing recent at least. It was possible her revelation took a moment or two to take full effect. The more she thought about it and the more she rambled on, the more Atani came to realize that was most likely the reason.

"I'm sorry," she murmured. Im naer as it was said in Val'Elvarin. She knew she should've been more gradual about that.

Several more moments of silence passed. They were spent with Atani studying the silver-haired man's face trying to get some reading off of him. Anything. But it was futile.

Finally, he spoke.

He said things about the tree, the sky, the ocean. He wished that nature would watch over her, that it would grant her safe passage through whatever journey she decided to set herself on. She appreciated the sentiment, but it couldn't erase the feeling of guilt she still had left behind for Blue Pegasus.

"Thank you again. Really, I appreciate it, but it's okay if you want to say something else. I know someone's left you before, and I know we talked about traveling together, and I know these aren't the same circumstances as before but, ugh-- !" Atani set her glass down and buried her head in the palm of her hand. "I don't know what to do."

bloop ♡

Atani knit her brows. She was angry, though she tried her best not to show it. She was angry that Manzo wasn't telling her how he truly felt. She hurt him. She knew it. She hurt him when she came to Fiore. She hurt him when she joined Blue Pegasus. She hurt him when she said she was thinking of leaving. Every choice she made somehow caused someone around her to ache. No matter how strong her healing magic was, there was no fixing a person that kept leaving chaos in her wake. She wanted Manzo to blow up in her face. She wanted him to set her straight. She needed him to.

But he wouldn't.

Instead, he moved in close. He spoke in the ancient language Atani had heard before, but could not understand. As the words were spoken, a haze settled over the elf's mind. Her vision became defocused to reality, yet enhanced all the same. Her will became weak as he took her face into his hand and guided it to his lips. Emerald eyes closed shut. Their lips touched. The last sensation Atani could remember was the taste of pomegranate lingering in one another's breath before her senses were flooded with a rush of magic.

She didn't see black behind closed eyelids. She saw colors. Colors that were in all shades of silver and blue. It reminded her of blades slicing through the sky. It was beautiful, but it was pain. Not hers, but Manzo's. It was a vastness that led to nowhere but trials and conflict with no safety net in sight. He was alone...

Just like her.

bloop ♡

The streaks of blue mingled with silver became tainted with splotches of red. It deepened in color until it resembled blood. Then, everything changed.

Atani didn't know what to make of it all. She could almost see the images clearly. Almost. Perhaps it was due to her fragmented memories. It was hard to tell for sure, but she saw not the Joyan fields, nor the demons, nor the deceased in Bosco. She saw nondescript hills spattered in blood, dark shadows with claws, and limp bodies cloaked in sheets to hide their injuries. Even so, it was not hard to piece the story together.

As Manzo's hands slid to her hips, hers slid to his sculpted shoulders. One found its anchor in his mess of silver locks. The other remained firm in its place, though her thumb drifted down as if trying to reach the inked guild mark Atani knew to reside on his pectoral. The colors shifted from dark to light as a far clearer image surfaced in the depths of their shared minds. It was her.

But it couldn't be. That girl was younger, brighter, untouched by the plagues of humanity. Her hair was shorter, her figure was healthier. She was surrounded by roses-- Atani wasn't even overly fond of roses. But regardless, her mind recognized her as her own, and as such, her own brain seized control of the symbiosis.

A shadow formed around her brightened figure. It grew until it became a defined replica of herself, which then detached from her body like in the Peter Pan story so many human children were told. The shadow raised her arms and with it the roses grew. The petals wilted until all that was left was a thorn bush. The shadow was Ëala: the dark spirit who had possessed Atani's body, given her the gift of nature magic, and had to be torn apart from her soul, ultimately resulting in forgotten memories.

The thorns thrusted out in every direction. One ran through the young Boscosi woman. Another an innocent wolf. More through sailors. The last pierced an elf's chest... An elf she had let herself grow close to in her time of need. They all represented lives lost from failure to control her own magic, and she was terrified of it happening again.

bloop ♡

The fear of losing control was one thing. The fact that Ëala took on the form of a darker version of herself was another. In the vision she shared with Manzo, this spirit was not just another entity. It was an extension of herself. All the ugly bits and pieces she kept hidden away, the parts she let be masked by light guilds, they still trailed behind her in the form of a shadow. All it took was one slip up for the spirit to reveal Atani's true colors... which might have been even more terrifying than the fear she showed Manzo.

Even so, the spirit was gone. Ëala was out of her body. There should have been nothing left for Atani to fear, yet she couldn't help but feel as if she could never truly rid herself of the dark spirit. It was like a stain on her clothes that was impossible to get out... except it was imprinted onto her soul rather than fabric. Temporarily forgetting about the spirit was the closest thing she could get to removing it from her life, but even that failed.

But this? The vision she was sharing with Manzo? It was not real. What she was seeing was not the spirit in and of itself, but simply an imitation of it. Therefore, it could be harmed in ways not possible with the real Ëala. From what was certainly Manzo's doing rather than hers, a sword as black as night materialized. It became encased in flames of the same color and scorched away the vines suffocating her figure. With them, Ëala's replica perished as did the manifestations of her fears. She was safe.

Their feelings now shared, Atani slowed her display of passion with Manzo. She eased her grip and let her hand fall from his silver head. Her lips softly touched his one final time before the elf gently pulled away. It was only then she realized that while her mind was busy sharing memories with the Slayer, her body had shed tears. She brushed away the wet streaks that laid on her cheeks with the tips of her fingers. There were only two words the Wood Elf could find the strength to say:

"Im naer."

I'm sorry.

bloop ♡

A warm sensation trickled down the elf's spine as the man in front of her gently touched her cheeks, drying the tears she hadn't managed to clear herself. She apologized. He told her there was no need.

"No," she insisted. "There is." Taking a moment to compose herself, Atani stood and folded her arms across her chest as if ashamed. The gesture to cover oneself was a subconscious way of hiding, even if the mage knew the effects of doing so were negligible.

"I shouldn't have needed to show you that. I never wanted you to see what I did, and I never wanted you to know about my fears... Not like that at least."

She took a breath to steady herself before continuing.

"I can't control my magic. I can't remember my past. I can't predict if I'll wake up wanting to help others, or if I'll wake up with darkness taunting me to do something else." Explaining what that meant was a conversation Atani was not yet ready to have with Manzo. LeeAnn was the only one who could even begin to understand, and even then the blonde was reluctant to involve the kitsune with her affairs.

"So yes. I'm sorry... I'm sorry I'm leaving you, but I'm not sorry for leaving the guild. I don't want to hurt anyone... Not here. There are people in Astera who can help me. If you need me, I'll be there. Enjoy your mimosa."

With that said, Atani raised her hand. The ring on her finger let off a golden glow before returning her belongings set upon the sands to her pocket dimension, save for the alcohol. With the stem of her champagne flute clenched in her hand, the Wood Elf turned her back on Manzo. She didn't want to let him see the tears returning to the corners of her eyes. This would be goodbye.

Astera awaited.

- exit -