Not that he’d say all of this to the young lady, she might just see him as a total whack-nut-crazy-fuckhead, but it was something for himself, just for his own soul and the extensive healing process it needed. Also, there’s no therapists in the mage world or people might start realizing that murder is bad, war is evil and the gods are a bunch of assholes that like to play with people like they’re toys and not living, breathing, thinking creatures. Just cuz they can think and see in a few more dimensions they think they can do whatever the hell they please. Assholes. Fuckin assholes.
Once again, like last time, he had gone on auto-pilot while thinking about the fact that he hated the gods. Thankfully, he still hadn’t done anything stupid as Raina ranted about the endangered fish in the no-fish zone and how it had taken way too much effort to get protection for that lake. Once again, what little he heard was enough to endear him to the young woman, feeling like she was the type to go get what she wanted, as well as a kind woman who wanted to preserve the natural order. That he respected a lot.
He also respected her warehouse because holy shit it’s packed. All sorts of equipment, books, anything and everything a biologist would ever want. Either that or a hoarder’s paradise because it looked slightly disorganized. Nothing that would be cause for alarm in terms of physical danger, though more of a personal issue that she might want to deal with before it got particularly bad. In the end, it’s not his place to actually criticize it, now is there? He didn’t know if he himself is a hoarder. Mostly because he owns nothing.
The trip to the lake was simple enough too. After carrying the boxes of food to said lake that she had spent a good few minutes ranting about, all he had to do was get on the boat and row them both to the middle of the lake, where he’d sit still and wait for her to throw around the fish food for the hungry critters. For that time and that time only, Bucket saw fish and did not feel utter disgust and a tightness in his chest. For once, even though he was on top of water, he felt at peace.
Perhaps, as he received the money and the young miss’ gratitude, he thought that he could eventually deal with his problems in a healthy manner, so that they may never interfere with his life’s work. It was wishful thinking but, to be able to deal with it, he’d need to expose himself to what haunted him most. So, thanking the young lady, they split ways yet again, likely to meet soon enough as a marine biologist’s work is never truly complete.