After having his world shaken up by finding out Kaito was his brother and the woman he was raised to kill was most likely his own grandmother, he has felt like he has lost his path in life and he wonders if it is really okay to even still be trying to be a mage. At this point he has no purpose, his home was gone, he has no light in the darkness he is just lost to the echo of the empty void and that is what bothers him the most.
He doesn't feel useful and he has really no allies to even to call on in this time in which he needs someone, he just feels like everything he is doing has no real worth and he is just a failed berserker and a failed man and that he failed his last guild by not being able to save it and he has no where to really go though he has his family somewhere safe for the time. He is starting to believe this monster hunter guild was just a rumor.