Disguised as Salazar "Sal" Worthington:

---

Sal was taking a walk around town, and decided to take a visit to the grocery store. The raid on Fairy Tail wasn't yet happening, and while Tomoe was busy collecting information, Sal was tasked with stocking up on any essentials that might be needed before and after. It might not be obvious to some, but raiding a guild is kind of a big deal. What some people claim is easy, turns out to be the hardest part. And as Sal stood in front of the grocery store before him, he knew exactly what that hardest part was. People always thought about the kind of shit one on the run would deal with and think that it probably isn't so bad. If the thief got away with a lot of valuables and money, fought the good fight, and accomplished what they went there to do... well, what was the problem? Well, the problem was simple. The problem was...

“Need food. Neeeeeeed foooooood...”, Sal spoke aloud, unafraid, like a zombie even while other people were around; who gave a damn about other people when the poor guy was so famished?!

Yes, truth be told, in a raid the most important part would be having rations ready for after the battle has been won. Was it presumptuous to suggest that the battle would be won already, and that Tomoe and Gunter wouldn't just get hauled off to jail immediately? Yeah, probably, but that wasn't the point! The point was that at the current moment, they were preparing for victory. What kind of invader would they be if they went in assuming they were going to lose, and then attacking anyway? Foolish levels of bravado, that was.

Regardless, they needed food, and they needed a lot of it. Sal had recently gotten done with his delicious snacks on his last mission, and sadly that left him starving. They wouldn't have time to stop and buy food regularly while on the run from the authorities and with a knight on every corner keeping watch for them. Thus, they needed to take the initiative by having the food ready for a grand feast upon the celebration of their triumph! Was something mentioned earlier about being too presumptuous? Didn't matter. What really mattered was food, and getting food, and finding and devouring as many delectable morsels as humanly possible, and...

---

WC: 394/2,000

Alright, it was time to get to the task at hand. Sal walked into the grocery store and found himself in awe at all the options before him. Rather than simple meat and vegetables, there was an entire array of sweets and other snacks to choose from. The people looked rather tasty, too... but he wouldn't let himself run rampant around here, not yet. This place wasn't like Marigold. They hadn't broken in the people here yet and showed them who's the real boss.

Once they had, with Fairy Tail crumbled, he and his companions would be free to do whatever they set their mind to with minimal budgetary losses. However, he eventually noticed something... odd. While everyone was going about their business, a few employees seemed to have troubled looks on their faces. Observing further back in the store, Sal could even see a well-dressed man in tears, almost breaking down before employees pulled him back into the employee-only section of the establishment.

This interested Sal, as the Worthington name was one of adventure and infinite potential to do bad things to bad and good boys alike. He wouldn't turn down the opportunity to have fun and eat people for anything! And so, the courageous and glorious Salazar moved towards the employee-only area. So what if an employee or two would try to grab his round body along the way?

A quick elbow here, another fist there, and before long none of it mattered! He stood proudly before the employee-only door and kicked it down, sending it flying off its hinges. This was quickly becoming his favorite way to enter areas he wasn't supposed to, and would probably continue to do so in the future. A few people were muttering or perhaps shouting something about “security”, but what did that matter now? It was too late. Sal had been allowed to advance too far, and advance farther even than this he would definitely do.

---

WC: 719/2,000

Mr. Tanaka would be so proud of Sal for doing all of this! There wasn't a doubt in his mind that he was the Joyan's best servant... or maybe his only servant? The difference there was minimal, and didn't matter. Trivially, he deleted the distinction in his mind and moved on. Approaching the well-dressed but crying man from earlier, who was damn near shitting himself at the mass of vile flesh approaching him, Sal stopped right in front and put a strong hand on the man's shoulder. It was a firm grip that let him know he was loved, he was wanted, and that he could be allowed to ask good ol' Sal for anything he wanted. “What troubles you, my sweet grocery store prince?!”, Sal would shout aloud in a poetic and dramatic voice, gesturing with his free hand towards the ceiling as if to break through it and to the heavens awaiting outside.

Without realizing it, during this process he had accidentally put more crushing force on the man's shoulder. Upon finally coming to his senses about his own strength, he released his grip after the man howled a bloodcurdling and murderous howl. Collapsing into a nearby office chair, a few employees gathered around to see what was happening. Sal knew when he wasn't wanted, but that didn't mean he'd leave. Why, if he saw somebody crying out in sadness and despair, he had to do his darn best to help them out!

With hands on his hips, ignoring the employees who seemed frightened out of their minds and the guards who were staying back and at the ready, he leaned in and asked again. “I do apologize, dear prince, but I must know what ails you! What has caused you to cry in such a way as earlier?!”, Sal said once again in his same overly dramatic tone, caring so deeply about the poor and stray soul before him.

“I own this establishment. Thieves... thieves have been coming by and raiding my supply. Every night, before anybody knows it, all my guards get knocked out and we lose a huge portion of our products! If this keeps up any longer, we'll be ruined...!”, the man who revealed himself as the store's owner finally broke down, trusting Sal after being faced with the thought that the alternative to confessing to this maniac was to meet his maker earlier than he'd like.

---

WC: 1,122/2,000

Sal was positively dying in despair, bent over halfway backwards with his eyes fit to pop out of his skull, screaming, “Oooooh, ooooh... ohhhhhhhhh!” with his arms raised towards the ceiling. He was a very loud, very psychotic egg, and people didn't need more than thirty seconds in the same room as the man to figure that out. People were scared to approach and try to escort him out, and the guards had no intention of trying to attack the man any time soon. Eventually, with tears in his eyes, Sal returned to his normal proud and badass posture and put a hand to his chest. “I apologize for my outburst, my dear sir, it was just that... it was such a moving tale that I couldn't help but express my sadness for your situation right here in this very room! So very, very tragic... and for a price, I could assist you.”, Sal spoke with deep sorrow in his voice right up until the end, where he revealed his true motive the entire time.

The man, left with the alternative that denying this lunatic meant that everybody in the store could be a corpse within the next few minutes, would accept Sal's help and hire him on as a guard for the night. “You only get one night here on the payroll, and then you'll be sent on your way. Can we agree on this?”

Sal nodded his head, knowing full well that any promises he made, he would break on a moment's notice if they didn't suit him anymore. More than that, perhaps the thieves had the right idea? The store was well-stocked and ripe for the picking, especially regarding its produce...

Mr. Worthington licked his lips at the idea of thievery, but held his desires back for now. After all, he was a guard! There was no uniform big enough to fit him, but he was honorary. They gave him a gold star badge that wasn't made out of real gold, and a baton that now hung loosely off his side. He was all ready for tonight, and tonight, the world would see a different side of the psycho egg that nobody else ever had before. They weren't ready for the justice he would dish out. As night approached and the store closed until morning, Sal would hide in wait for the thieves to approach...

---

WC: 1,520/2,000

And approach they did. The front doors of the store would open almost so quietly that an average person couldn't detect it; but Salazar Worthington was no average person, and silently alerted the guards to the presence of intruders who had bypassed the store's locks. They began moving in with as best an attempt at silence as they could muster, but Sal had to shake his head at how clumsy and loud some of these amateurs were. For his size and gait, Sal was deceptively quiet – soundless, even. He didn't make a single noise, easily able to beat a mouse in a competition of skulking, and approached the front.

However, eventually he would see guards dropping, and instantly he saw why. There were masked individuals that were casting some kind of dark mist over them from hidden corners of the store. They were so fast that it would've been impossible for even Sal to know they were there had he not already been anticipating this. In a flash, Sal bolted away and began moving towards the masked men casting the dark mist, before it could fill up the store entirely. Finding the first one, who didn't expect a pink egg dressed in human skin to rush at him, he had met his fate instantly: Sal had grabbed his head and crushed it against the concrete wall of the store's interior like a melon. Blood, skull bits and brain chunks flew everywhere, but Sal wasn't done yet. There were two more intruders.

“I'm gonna get you, boys! And when I get my man, I really, REALLY get my man! Oooooh~!”, Sal shouted, now alone in a dark maze with perfect vision as if he were in daylight.

However, the foolish intruders didn't seem quite as prepared as all that. They were terrified of this pink, balding ball of a ninja rushing throughout the darkness, and before they knew it, another one had succumbed. The second thief would feel a wet spot on the back of his neck as if he were licked, and upon turning around in terror, was met with the sight of Sal's face barely illuminated from the moonlight, staring back at him. Cold, dead eyes, betraying any kind of human kindness he normally acted as if he had. And, well... what happened to this poor middle man of the three thieves was too graphic to be described, the sound of flesh tearing and guttural screams of agony echoing throughout the store. At the end, with silence and the struggle having ended with the second thief, all that could be heard in the endless darkness was Sal gleefully remarking, “Oh my, oh my, oh my, oh myyyyyyy! You were DELICIOUS! But I crave more... I crave a slower feast to fatten up ol' Sal...”

---

WC: 1,986/2,000

At that point, the last thief was breaking down and crying, knowing it was too late to make a break for it. Beyond all logic and beyond all reason, this egg-like man was faster than all of them and better at navigating in the dark. There was no hope. Getting on his knees, he could barely see with tears covering his vision as the image of a dark, soundless man approached. “Mmm~... you're all good and broken. That's just the way I like them. You'll produce the best flavor of all. But don't worry, boy. With the guards you so kindly put to sleep, we'll have all night to play together, just you... and Sal. I hope you like ground meat and melted cheese... and I wonder if this store has any blenders? We'll have to make do, one way or another. Ohohohohohoooooo!”

The next morning, Sal would collect his payment and demand extra. He'd steal as much food and as many valuables from the store as he felt like carrying with him, because when the owner, employees and awoken guards found the state of the place and more importantly, the state of the thieves? They let Sal take what he wanted in order to get him out. What they found was a corpse with his head missing as jelly all over the wall next to him, a corpse that couldn't even be identified as any kind of gender after Sal was done with them, and his magnum opus of the night.

Sal would look around at the eyes of the employees and the owner of the grocery store. He saw their gazes, as dead as corpses, and knew that he had done good work that day. If Tomoe was to become HER champion, Sal would be HER greatest chef and poet both! And he would create great works of culinary art, sharing them with a world not yet fit to appreciate them. His own fingers and teeth were his brush, and an unwilling victim would be his blank canvas fit to be dyed any color he felt like. And the best part about being a culinary artist rather than a regular one...? The artist could then eat his own creations! Truly a marvelous era that Mr. Worthington found himself in. Why, his very heart felt warm at the thought of what the third thief had gone through the night prior.

---

WC: 2,000/2,000

The third man was found stuffed from ass to mouth with cooked ground beef mixed with some unknown meat that couldn't be recognized, and cheese melted across his back while he hang there from rope attached to the ceiling in nothing but a makeshift loincloth tied together from a dish rag. His eyes were wide open, implying that Sal had tried his best to keep the man alive as long as possible, and had his stomach charred implying he was being roasted for a while over a fire. It seemed as if the final thing Sal did, and what ultimately killed this third thief, was the chunk of flesh missing from the left side of the man's head and a bloody steak knife on the ground near where he dangled.

In short, Sal was allowed to take what he wanted as long as he didn't clear out the store or damage its income as much as the thieves did. With an agreement like that, generous as the people were, how could he decline?! Tomoe and Gunter would be overjoyed to have so much food! “Oh thank you, thank you, a thousand times over! O blessed grocery store, may your light never dim. Thank you for the meal.”, Sal finished with a bow, and was then on his way, leaving the stone-cold and frozen employees to watch and make sure he had truly left for good.

As Sal walked away, he licked his lips, knowing he had done good today. He'd probably need to eat again soon, but... well, that would happen when it happened. He'd move his tongue inside his mouth around, swishing it back and forth to find something stuck between his teeth. Eventually he gave up, and would stand in place in the middle of the street with his fingers now digging and picking away at his teeth, hoping to dislodge the thing stuck inside.

"Ah, there we go...!"

With a final flick, a chunk of a human eyeball would come flying out of his mouth with a wag of his finger, hitting some young boy who was eyeing him curiously and slithering down his face slowly. The boy screamed and started to run away. At first Sal decided he could chase him, but... well, the poor man was simply full! He had to let the boy get away.

"Oh well~! If he gets away here, he can live long enough to fatten up and get all ripe for a nice meal later. Mmm~! I do so love it when my prey runs. it gets jolly ol' Sal all giddy and hot! Ohohohohoho!", Mr. Worthington would say aloud, encouraging the little boy to run even faster than he'd run before.

Afterwards, Sal would make his way to an alley or a ditch somewhere and eat his fill of the food he'd stolen from the grocery store. Whether or not he'd been full minutes ago didn't matter anymore: what mattered was that he was hungry again now. His belly grumbled and grunted like an ogre having sex, and that was the definitive sign that it was time for some grub of the non-human kind.

---

WC: 2,000/2,000

- EXIT -